Hello Beautifully Gorgeous ladies,
Today I am writing about a commonly heard but not so commonly talked about topic, MID-LIFE CRISIS. The term has been generally associated with men, but it is equally and very much prevalent among women too. With women, a lot more emotional stages have to be concurred, and a lot of hormonal changes have to be dealt with,(education, periods, job, marriage, nest building, kids, menopause and other changes) so the women are easily hit by crisis. First let us get to know what exactly does mid-life crisis mean, and is it as scary as it sounds?
It should not be seen as something scary or un-deal able, but if ignored or not dealt with, it can blow out into full crisis which can lead you to take drastic steps. Let me make one thing clear, depression and mid-life crisis are two different psychological phenomenon. While depression requires proper care and medication, mid-life crisis can be overcome by proper help and care itself. But in both the cases proper care and guidance is of utmost necessity. Even more important is support of the partner, family members and close friends. With all the help at hand, mid-life crisis can turn out to be better for you actually.
We now live in an age which is predominantly goal-oriented. We judge people and ourselves too, on the basis of what we do or what we have achieved. Although setting up of targets or goals is important, but many a times we fail to realize those targets in the expected or desired time-limit; or in some cases later on we realize that we are in the wrong path. Going through the monotonous routine in the office or work, the targets seem to be out of reach. We realize that a monotonous routine is starting to play and for what? We look for deeper meaning and question what exactly is important to us, as life is not always going to be waiting for us.
This occurs not only with working ladies but is commonly found in housewives as well. The mid-life crisis hits them after some years into their marriage, generally when their children have grown up and left for colleges; these are the phases when a housewife is generally hit by the crisis with a feeling of non-importance.
So, basically we are so involved in fulfilling one goal (it can be a post/a rank/a promotion/family/partner/kids/home the list as you know is endless), that we overlook the rest of our own personal life which is lost after years or decade of ignorance. We stare at our image and question who are we? In plain words, we are dealing with an identity- crisis. We then generally start panicking, trying to do things to make up for the time lost while concentrating on achieving certain goals or trying to regain or relive the lost time.
It can be triggered by a lot of things maybe a recent incident where you lost a close person suddenly, making you realize life’s unpredictability or losing a close family, or maybe losing a post for which you worked hard for years or maybe when you see a group of kids at a joint and realize that the time is gone, or maybe by something as simple as looking at yourself in the mirror or infidelity of your spouse.
People do have symptoms while going through mid-life crisis, and the symptoms can actually tell what kind of crisis they are going through.
•Questioning yourself a lot- who am I? Why am I doing all this? What is the point of all this? What about me? Is this all there is to me?
When you start having questions like these, you need to step back and analyze, do you love what you are doing. May be you did love it when you started but now not so much. It’s okay; with time we become wiser and see the things for their real values. So when you have these questions, life actually is giving you another chance. Utilize this phase to find out what would you love to do now. And start on that path, it might lead to wonders. We start comparing our professional and personal front or pre-event and post-event life and become depressed, or see one part being pulled down due to another. Or an identity-crisis hits you. Do analyze what you desire actually, and follow your heart.
• Strong desire to quit your job/home routine activities.
• Not enjoying the works which previously gave you joy.
• Random changes in your mood, easily irritated.
• Getting depressed from time to time, restlessness.
• Urge to learn/try new things- music genre, instruments, art, poetry.
• Suddenly becoming overly-cautious of what you eat.
• Strong desire to get in better shape.
• Always making extra an effort to look good and updated and young.
• Making new friends, generally of younger group, trying to befriend your kids’ friends.
• Following new trends or lifestyle, generally of the younger generation.
• Thinking a lot about dying, what happens then? How can it happen?
These are the common signs of people going through a mid-life crisis. They can show one or more of them too. If you do have one or more of the above signs, chances are you might be might be going through the crisis phase.
What To Do If You Are Going Through The Crisis
There is nothing to panic. The first step is identifying the crisis phase. If you have successfully done so, then talk to your partner or/and your family and get help, there are a lot of institution and psychologist who offer help for overcoming the crisis. This is an important part, the family or the spouse has a very important role to play. Their non-judgmental support and care is of immense importance. Pay close attention to what your heart says, analyze your new desires. If feasible follow them. Many a times most of changes induced by this phase brings a great and an astounding change to the person’s life, because you follow your heart’s desire with the wisdom accumulated over the years.
Always make sure that no matter who you are; a working lady or a home-maker, always keep aside some me time, where you can connect with your true self. It can be solitude during your tea-time or some me vacation-time alone or just with your friends. Take up a vocational activity where everyday hum-drum is not reflected.
Talk to people, to friends; chances are they might be going through the same phase. Often when we see others going through the same problem we get a better perspective of understanding our situations.
What Does Crisis Mean?
According to dictionary-A stage in a sequence of events at which the trend of all future events, especially for better or for worse, is determined. A turning point…!!!
Now it doesn’t sound scary this way does it?