I remember when we got our wedding date confirmed the only thing I was worried about was whether I will get the required amount of leave from work. December was always a busy time and to get a month off was a task. Not even once did I wonder about my kitchen skills. Could I get married not knowing how to make round rotis and yummy dal? I cared not!
I joined work a week after I got hitched. I remember picking out a nice dress to wear to work because I was sure people would come over to congratulate me. I remember stopping by the kitchen, making two cups of tea and rushing off to work. Kitchen < Looking pretty in a dress: this was my equation.
It’s going to be four years since I got married and I still love my self-given domestically-challenged tag. I have upped my skills to making some steamed veggies (which my husband loves), certain baked dishes and everything else that can be prepared in five minutes flat. My dal is very watery, my maid cooks the rotis and my house, although not unclean, is not very neat. But I am happy, truly happy!
It’s funny how in India people judge your wife abilities by two things: how fast you can produce kids and how round your rotis are. I fail miserably on both counts! So does the fact that I don’t excel domestically mean that I am a bad wife? I think not!
I earn and help my husband take care of the bills. I am well-read and can hold interesting conversations with him and his friends when we entertain, I can add numbers real quick and if he wants to cross-check any fact, I am the one who can give him the info in a matter of minutes (thanks to Google and a good phone). Am I still a bad wife? A lot of people seem to think so.
My mother, when I got married and was stressed about not knowing how to make food, told me this: When I got married even I didn’t know how to cook (background info: my mom cooks the best Thai food ever). I took heart from this and continued with life. When I took a break from work a year later, a lot of people advised, ‘That’s nice. Now you can learn how to cook.’ Well, I spent the time having book-reading marathons that made me wiser, not in the kitchen, but in life. My husband was recently hospitalised and a few too many visitors told me to take time off work and cook what he likes. Well, I took their advice, a part of it at least. I stayed home and spent the time keeping him positive and hopeful. I didn’t cook him curry (his mom did) but I felt that the positivity helped him heal faster. Bad wife again!?
I just don’t get the emphasis we put on our women and their domestic tuning. I am a proud bread-winner and no, I still don’t wish to learn how to cook. I have a maid for that. I have one life and I want to spend that on holidays, reading as many books as I can and sitting by my window sipping tea on a rainy morning. Not in the kitchen, sweating it out and making aloo mutter.
I am a domestically-challenged wife and I have no plans of changing that anytime soon. When I get that much-hyped life flashback, a moment before I am about to die, I will remember all the happy memories and you can remember your round rotis!? Till then please keep the cooking advice to yourself and let me order some yummy Chinese food while I read my book.
Image courtesy: ©Shutterstock & Content courtesy: idiva