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December 19, 2014 at 10:20 am

15 Dumb Things Every Muslim in India is Tired of Hearing

If you’re a Muslim in India, there will be a few ridiculous items of surprise you will be subjected to and some are just downright dumb. Perhaps some of the dumbest and most ignorant reactions will be thrust upon you, forcing you to either fake smile or walk away. As a Muslim I have encountered a few myself. Here’s a compilation of the most painstakingly stupid things Muslims in India get to hear. P.S – Meant in good fun!

1). Do you eat biryani every day?

1). Do you eat biryani every day?

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Yes, because we live inside a goat!

2). Do you eat mutton for breakfast?

2). Do you eat mutton for breakfast?

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Breakfast? Pushing it, don’t you think?

3). Is mutton your favourite animal?

3). Is mutton your favourite animal?

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Didn’t you hear, we are now getting married to mutton?

4). In an India-Pakistan cricket match, you obviously support Pakistan?

4). In an India-Pakistan cricket match, you obviously support Pakistan?

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If only we could say the same about every one else!

5). You’re from Kerala. Then how are you a Muslim ?

5). You’re from Kerala. Then how are you a Muslim ?

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Because geography and religion are one and the same thing.

6). I’m sure your mom cooks the best biryani in the world

6). I’m sure your mom cooks the best biryani in the world

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Yeah, she replaced all the three chefs at Masterchef Australia for its upcoming edition.

7). Can you teach me some swear words in Arabic or Urdu?

7). Can you teach me some swear words in Arabic or Urdu?

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These languages are not meant to be sworn in, schmucks!

8). Don’t you feel hungry while fasting?

8). Don’t you feel hungry while fasting?

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What else does Fasting mean to the rest of the world?r

9). You’re a Muslim, so you’re obviously good at Urdu

9). You’re a Muslim, so you’re obviously good at Urdu

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You’re a Indian, so you’re obviously good at Hindu. You may say that’s invalid. But who started it?

10). You might be slaughtering animals regularly, no?

10). You might be slaughtering animals regularly, no?

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Of course. We don’t consider it a good shagun if someone else cuts the meat. I mean, really?

11). Are your grandparents from Pakistan?

11). Are your grandparents from Pakistan?

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And that is relevant because?

12). You would’ve been to Saudi Arabia or any other part of the gulf right?

12). You would’ve been to Saudi Arabia or any other part of the gulf right?

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If we can afford a trip abroad, we would like to go to many other places as well. Are any of you sponsoring?

13). You guys can marry as many times as you want

13). You guys can marry as many times as you want

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Just because Mahesh Bhat does it and deems it ‘cool’, one mustn’t blindly believe.

14). Isn’t it very hot inside the burkha?

14). Isn’t it very hot inside the burkha?

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There are inbuilt ACs inside, Duh!

15). Tell me seriously, and don’t mind me asking, but do you have any connections with any terrorist squad?

15). Tell me seriously, and don’t mind me asking, but do you have any connections with any terrorist squad?

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